Totful Toys has a unique process of bringing you the most advanced and totful of toys for the holidays and all year round. This awesome responsibility lies firmly on the shoulders of our PS&T department which is run by our "Agent D".
In a rare interview, Agent D allowed the reporters who wrote this story a glimpse inside the P&ST department and revealed some of its most sacred secrets:
Interviewer: So, Agent D. - what exactly is the P&ST Department and what does it do?
Agent D: P&ST stands for Procrastinate, and Slap Together, and that is more or less what we do here. In an average year we will come up with maybe 4 to 6 innovations, of which only 1 or occasionally 2 come to fruition. To give you an idea of this effort, I have gotten some of the internal details of one of our latest projects desclassified. The project code named "CBG" .
Interviewer: So, Agent D. - what exactly does "CBG" stand for?
Agent D: CBG stands for "Caulk Ball Gazorcher". The CBG is a one-of-a-kind device designed to dramatically reduce the effort required to add caulking to joints and joists within a large industrial site. Rather than use the typical caulking methods that started in the 1800s, this new version uses the Gazorching methods pioneered in the 1960s and 1970s in American Universities. But we took it a step forward by adding high velocity rotational gazorching geered motors in place of the classic surgical tubing, added a power conpensator and portable power unit, and used overvoltage generation to create increased rotational velocities, thus reducing the dynamic coeficient of friction to allow for dynamically modulated ball reshaping. This yields high energy and high volume gazorching at a dramtically increased rate and does so without sacrificing the viscosity of the caulk or its ability to maintain flexibility during delivery. It has the pleasant side effect of reducing solidification time through the higher surface area exposure produced by the larger area covered at the point of impact.
Interviewer: So, Agent D. - I didn't quite understand that - could you put it in plain English??
Agent D: Look, if you can't understand an explanation as simple as that one, it's not likely to help to dumb it down further...
Interviewer: Hmmm....Maybe a picture would help?
Agent D: The following declassified photograph is the only thing I can release other than the statement I just made...
After this exchange, Agent D heard a loud noise and rushed off yelling something about the prototype not being fully tested. I didn't get the rest, but soon thereafter several ambulences came roaring into the compound and I was rushed out a side exit.